Why Men Get Rejected on Approaches

I was having coffee in a café the other day, and I noticed this guy checking out a woman sitting about two tables away. He got up and walked past her table, then walked back to his table. He did this a couple of times pretending he was getting a different paper when he hadn’t even looked at the others he’d already picked up.

Eventually, he walked over to her table, sat down and started talking to her. She looked surprised. “What the hell, and who are you?” was written all over her face. She was polite, but she obviously didn’t want to talk to him and shortly after she gathered up her stuff and walked away, leaving the guy pretending that all was all cool. It wasn’t. He got rejected big time.

I felt sorry for him because if he’d known anything about Body Language it may have turned out a little less embarrassingly.

So why did he get rejected? He was pleasant enough, he looked OK, so why?

Well, in a nutshell, it all comes down to using and reading Body Language.

Attraction is a visual thing. We are hard- wired to find, good looking, well-shaped member of the opposite sex who are attractive (as well as the same sex in some cases).

When we are attracted to someone, it’s because their bodies are doing all the talking.

Men who approach and get rejected, do so because they failed to read the Body Language signs that tell them to approach or to stay away.

Our friend in the cafe didn’t read her body language at all, and he didn’t prepare himself up to see if there would be any signals returned by sending some of his own.

He didn’t announce himself by drawing her attention so that she would notice him. He just barged in and invaded her personal space and privacy without an invitation.

Guys, pay attention:

  1. To be noticed for the right reasons you need to be the whole package. Women will have you pegged within three seconds and ten metres away as to whether you’re someone they’re interested in. That means you need to dress right, smell right, walk right and talk right from ten metres away. Be in command of yourself and comfortable in the room.
  1. If you’re interested in a particular lady, make eye contact, smile. If she looks down coyly and then away (she may even smile) go over and introduce yourself. If she looks to the side and moves her head away, stay put because she’s not interested. She may be married, have a partner, have something else on her mind or she may just want some time alone. In any case, she does not want to speak to you. It’s nothing personal and a waste of time taking it so. Move on, relax, enjoy yourself, have fun. If you don’t, you will come off as desperate, and the ladies will pick up that scent like sharks pick up the scent of blood in the water.
  1. When at functions, project certainty with your actions. Don’t be like a Meercat, hesitantly looking around whether you fit in or if you know anyone. Target any group and join in. Go to the bar and order a drink. Be discreet in checking who you find attractive. Send your signals of interest and read how they land.
  1. If the signals from her are right, just go over and introduce yourself. Don’t use pick-up lines, just say “hi, I’m ……. Wait for her response. Then take it from there.


It’s not rocket surgery! Read the signals, keep it real, keep it natural and keep it going.

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