Rejection Sucks!

Recently I came across this question in an article by Maureen Matthews.

Q: “I’m an attractive, successful, 30-year-old woman who feels disheartened about ever meeting “Mr Right”.

I’ve joined a few meet-up groups (a book club, a wine appreciation group, and a walking club), and am on a dating site. I’ve met some nice guys, and been on a couple of dates, but nothing develops. Last weekend I asked a man at a party who works near my office if he would like to catch up for coffee sometime, but he made excuses. I feel crushed, rejected and unattractive. What am I doing wrong?”

I reflected on how often I hear similar stories from single women once they get to know that I coach men on how to be better bachelors. Some blame me for their plight because they think I coach men on how NOT to commit, while and others praise me for the work I do in coaching men on how to be better men and better bachelors.

The truth being that we need every bit of help we can get because the bottom line is…The mating game is tough. Our sub-conscious mind has us hard wired to protect ourselves as well as to maximize our chances at reproducing.

As for the lady in question above I’d ask her as I do exactly the same thing I tell the guys I coach. I get them to apply the Have, Do, Be, model to their approach in every aspect of their dating endeavours.

What do you want to HAVE? Get a clear, detailed picture of exactly what you want and what you don’t want from your ideal relationship.

Ask yourself…
Do I just want to have fun?
Do I want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Do I want to have lover?
Do I want to have a fiancée? A husband/wife
What kind of relationship do you want to have?
What are the absolute must haves? What are the deal-breakers?
What characteristics must your ideal partner have?

What do you have to DO to get it? What are the specific things you will need to do to have it. Make a list. What needs to improve? What needs to be discarded? What do I have to learn? What do I need to stop doing?

Who do you have to BE to have it? Finally, you need to picture who you have to BE to attract that type of relationship. This is the cruncher. This is the part you can’t fake. You either BEcome it or you will keep attracting the wrong person into your life.
The thing is that once you truly know exactly what you want to have and you do what you have to, to get it, you will automatically BEcome who you need to be to attract your ideal partner.

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